We often talk about burnout like it’s a badge of honor.
“I’m just a little burned out.”
“We’ve all been there.”
“It’ll get better after this project.”
But what if burnout isn’t simply being tired?
What if it’s your body desperately trying to get your attention before something much worse happens?
That was the heart of my recent conversation with leadership coach Erin Treacy. Erin’s story isn’t about being overwhelmed for a few weeks. It’s about years of pushing through pain until her body literally forced her to stop. While working in the family restaurant, she turned to walk across the kitchen—and her leg wouldn’t move. Compressed discs in her back had begun shutting down the communication between her brain and her body. What she initially believed was a physical injury eventually became something much bigger: a lesson in burnout, leadership, and learning to rebuild a healthier life.
Her story reminded me of something I think many leaders need to hear.
Burnout isn’t weakness.
It’s often the consequence of being strong for too long.
Burnout rarely starts where you think it does
One of the biggest misconceptions about burnout is that it appears suddenly.
In reality, it usually whispers before it screams.
Looking back, Erin realized she’d spent years normalizing warning signs.
Headaches?
That’s normal.
Back pain?
Everyone has back pain.
Exhaustion?
I’ll rest after this project.
Nausea?
Probably stress.
Like so many high achievers, she kept moving the goalposts.
“I’ll slow down after we hire another manager.”
“I’ll rest after next month.”
“I’ll take care of myself when things settle down.”
Except things never settled down.
Many of us do exactly the same thing.
We convince ourselves that relief is always one more deadline away.
Five early warning signs to pay attention to
One of the most practical parts of our conversation was identifying what burnout actually looks like before it becomes a crisis.
Ask yourself:
- Are you snapping at people over things that normally wouldn’t bother you?
- Have you stopped making time for friends or family?
- Are you constantly exhausted, even after sleeping?
- Are you relying on pain relievers, caffeine, or other coping mechanisms just to function?
- Do you feel like you’re constantly “on,” even when you’re sitting still?
One or two bad days doesn’t necessarily mean burnout.
But when these become your normal, it’s time to pay attention.
The dangerous sentence high achievers keep repeating
There was one phrase Erin said that I think every leader has spoken.
“I’ll just do it myself.”
At first glance, it sounds responsible.
In reality, it can become one of the fastest roads to burnout.
When we constantly believe:
“I can do it faster.”
“I can do it better.”
“It’s easier if I handle it.”
We’re not leading.
We’re carrying everything.
And eventually, everything becomes too heavy.
Count Your “I’ll Just Do It” Moments
For one day, simply notice how many times you say—or think—
“I’ll just do it myself.”
Don’t judge yourself.
Just count.
If you catch yourself saying it ten or twenty times in a day, ask:
What am I afraid will happen if someone else does this?
Sometimes the answer is quality.
Sometimes it’s perfectionism.
Sometimes it’s simply habit.
Awareness is the first step toward change.
Good enough is often better than perfect
One of my favorite stories Erin shared involved something incredibly ordinary.
Laundry.
Her husband had taken over doing the laundry while she recovered.
One day she commented that he folded shirts differently than she would.
His response was simple.
“You can either do the laundry yourself, or you can live with how it’s folded.”
It made us both laugh.
But it’s also profound.
How much of our stress comes from insisting that everything be done exactly our way?
Could we let someone else help?
Could we accept 90% instead of demanding 110%?
Perfection is expensive.
Sometimes it’s costing us our health.
People-first leadership starts with trust
Erin describes her leadership style as people-first leadership.
That means keeping people—not processes—at the center of every decision.
One example stood out.
While running restaurants, she regularly had cooks and waitstaff switch roles for a day.
Not during the busiest shift.
But during slower times.
Why?
Because understanding someone else’s job creates empathy.
Instead of saying,
“They never do their job right.”
Employees began saying,
“I understand why that’s difficult now.”
Imagine what would happen if every organization intentionally helped employees understand each other’s work.
Less blame.
More collaboration.
Better communication.
Job Shadow Day
If you lead a team, schedule one cross-training or job-shadow opportunity this month.
Ask employees to answer three questions afterward:
- What surprised you?
- What is harder than you expected?
- How can your role better support theirs?
You’ll likely solve problems that meetings never could.
Recovery starts smaller than you think
Many people believe recovering from burnout requires taking a month off.
Sometimes that’s necessary.
Often, it isn’t realistic.
Erin offered a much more practical starting point.
Find two minutes.
That’s it.
Not thirty.
Not sixty.
Two.
Before walking into work.
Before leaving your driveway.
Before opening your email.
Sit quietly.
No phone.
No smartwatch.
No notifications.
Then ask yourself:
- How do I want to show up today?
- What’s one thing I can do that reflects the kind of leader I want to be?
- Who needs encouragement today?
Those two intentional minutes can completely change how you experience the next ten hours.
Rebuilding your support system
Burnout often isolates us.
We stop returning calls.
We cancel plans.
We convince ourselves we’re too busy.
Eventually, the people who care about us stop asking because we’ve said no so many times.
Rebuilding those relationships doesn’t happen overnight.
It also doesn’t require attending networking events with fifty strangers.
Erin suggested starting much smaller.
Talk to the cashier.
Compliment someone in line.
Ask about the muffin the person next to you ordered at the coffee shop.
At first, that may sound insignificant.
It isn’t.
Burnout teaches us to withdraw.
Recovery teaches us to reconnect.
Practical Challenge
This week, have one conversation with someone you don’t normally talk to.
Not because you need something.
Just because you’re practicing being present.
Human connection is a skill.
Like any skill, it becomes easier with practice.
Remember how to play
Toward the end of our conversation, we laughed about something that seems surprisingly difficult as adults.
Playing.
Children naturally build play into every day.
Adults schedule every minute.
Somewhere along the way, we decided joy had to be earned.
It doesn’t.
Whether it’s walking your dog without your phone, dancing in the grocery store, hiking, gardening, coloring, or laughing in the sprinklers with your kids, play isn’t wasted time.
It’s recovery.
It’s creativity.
It’s resilience.
It’s how we remind ourselves we’re more than our to-do list.
Your next step
If this article feels uncomfortably familiar, don’t wait until your body forces you to stop.
Start today.
Choose one small action:
- Spend two quiet minutes in your car before work.
- Let someone help without correcting them.
- Call a friend.
- Take a walk without your phone.
- Cross one unnecessary task off your to-do list.
- Have one real conversation with another human being.
Burnout doesn’t happen in a single day.
Recovery doesn’t either.
But every small choice you make today moves you one step closer to becoming the leader, parent, friend, and person you want to be.
And that journey is worth protecting.
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