Some people build their lives with a safety net.
Others do not get that option.
That is one of the strongest lessons from my conversation with Austin Moore. He grew up with very little support, very few guarantees, and no clear backup plan. Yet he built a 26-year military career, retired as an Air Force Colonel, led major nonprofit growth, and now brings that same discipline and clarity into private equity.
What stood out most was not just what he achieved. It was how he thinks.
Austin does not waste energy wishing his circumstances had been different. He sees challenges as gifts. Not because hardship is easy. Not because pain is good. But because hardship can sharpen you, clarify you, and force you to build strength you may never have developed otherwise.
That perspective is rare. It is also practical.
Because whether you are leading a team, building a business, raising a family, or just trying to make it through a hard season, the real question is not whether fear and uncertainty will show up. They will. The question is what you will do when they do.
Here are the biggest lessons from this conversation, along with practical tools you can use right away.
Start with the truth: no one is coming to save you
Austin said something simple and blunt.
“When you do not have other options, you make Plan A work.”
That line matters because many people stay stuck waiting for perfect conditions. They wait for more support, more confidence, more money, more clarity, or more time. But life rarely gives you all of that at once.
Psychologists call this internal locus of control, the belief that your actions shape your outcomes. Research has shown that people with a stronger internal locus of control tend to be more resilient, more proactive, and more successful under pressure.
Write your Plan A statement
Take 10 minutes and answer these three questions:
What do I want most right now?
What excuse have I been using to delay it?
What would it look like to act like there is no backup plan?
Then write one sentence:
“My Plan A is __________, and this week I will prove it by __________.”
Keep it where you can see it.
Your past can shape you without defining you
One of the most powerful moments in the conversation came when Austin described his hard childhood as a gift. That does not mean he wanted it. It means he learned from it instead of letting it trap him.
That is a critical distinction.
Trauma-informed research shows that hardship can create either prolonged harm or post-traumatic growth, depending in part on support, meaning-making, and the ability to build new beliefs from painful experiences.
Austin had a wrestling coach who saw potential in him and told him the truth. One person believed in him. One person challenged him. One person gave him a different mirror.
That changed everything.
Reframe one hard thing
Think of one difficult experience from your life. Then answer:
What did this teach me?
What strength did this build?
How do I use that strength now?
Do not force gratitude for pain. Just look for the lesson. That lesson may be the beginning of your next step.
Learn to separate critics from truth tellers
Austin spoke clearly about feedback. Not all criticism is equal. Some people want to help you. Some want to hurt you. Wisdom is knowing the difference.
This matters more than ever. Many people reject feedback because it feels uncomfortable. But if you only listen to people who tell you what you want to hear, you stay stuck.
Strong leaders do not just receive feedback. They evaluate it.
The feedback filter
The next time someone gives you criticism, ask:
Does this person want what is best for me?
Is there truth in what they are saying?
What can I learn here, even if I do not like how it was delivered?
Then ask one follow-up:
“Can you help me understand that better with an example?”
That question does two things. It lowers emotion. It raises clarity.
Borrow belief until yours catches up
One of the best moments in the conversation came when I shared a tool I use when fear hits hard. I borrowed someone else’s belief in me.
That is not a weakness. That is wisdom.
Social support has long been tied to stronger confidence, better stress tolerance, and improved performance. Sometimes you do not need a whole strategy. Sometimes you just need to remember that someone you trust believes you can do this.
Build a belief list
Write down three people who believe in you.
Next to each name, write what they would likely say to you in a hard moment.
Then when fear shows up, read the list.
You do not need to fully believe in yourself every second. Sometimes you just need enough borrowed belief to take the next step.
Service does not need perfection, it needs presence
Austin and I spent time talking about service, youth mentorship, and giving back. The strongest takeaway was this: service does not need perfection. It needs you, right now.
That is true in leadership too.
Many people delay helping because they think they need more expertise, more polish, or more time. But the people who need support rarely need your perfection. They need your presence.
Austin shared that when volunteers asked what they could offer kids on mountain biking trips, his answer was simple. Care. Talk. Show up.
That is enough to start.
Use the 20-minute service rule
If you want to give back but feel overwhelmed, start here:
What is one act of service I can do in 20 minutes this week?
That might be:
Making an introduction
Reviewing a resume
Driving a friend to an appointment
Writing a note of encouragement
Do not wait until you can do something huge. Small consistent service changes lives.
If you want to make God laugh, tell Him your plan
Austin planned to go straight into private equity. Instead, he pivoted into nonprofit leadership and became CEO of the Special Operators Transition Foundation within six months.
He did not force the pivot. He listened for it.
That does not mean passivity. It means discernment.
He prayed. He reflected. He noticed what gave him life. He paid attention to where he felt called. Then he moved.
The alignment check
Before making a major decision, ask:
Does this energize me or just impress me?
Does this align with my values?
Do I feel peace, even if I still feel nervous?
Notice that peace and fear can exist together. Often the right decision is not the one with no fear. It is the one with fear and clarity at the same time.
Grow without losing focus.
Austin helped grow a nonprofit by more than 300 percent, but he stayed focused on the mission. He did not chase every opportunity. He did not try to help everyone. He kept asking one question:
Does this support our charter?
That discipline is rare. It is also necessary.
Organizations and leaders often lose momentum because they drift. They confuse more with better. They take on too much and dilute what they do best.
Practical tool: Ask the mission question every time
When a new idea comes up, ask:
Does this directly support our mission?
Do we have the capacity to do it well?
Would partnership make more sense than ownership?
If the answer is no, let it go.
Focus is not a limitation. Focus is stewardship.
Fear is not the enemy, unmanaged fear is
Austin said something that every leader needs to hear. You will have fear for the rest of your life. The goal is not to eliminate it. The goal is to manage it.
He described sitting in a jet before his first solo flight, full of fear and doubt. Then he shifted the question. Instead of focusing on what could go wrong, he asked, “How lucky am I?”
That question changed his state.
Research on cognitive reframing shows that how you interpret stress directly affects performance. If you frame a high-pressure moment as danger, your body contracts. If you frame it as a challenge or opportunity, you perform better.
Use the “How lucky am I?” shift
When fear hits, pause and ask:
How lucky am I to even have this opportunity?
What if this goes well?
What if I handle this better than I think?
What if this is one more rep that builds confidence?
You do not have to deny the fear. Just redirect the story.
Ground yourself before you try to lead others
Austin’s grounding practices were clear. Prayer. Meditation. Time outdoors.
Not because they sound good. Because they work for him.
He uses prayer to check direction.
He uses meditation to check his physical and emotional state.
He uses nature to reset and reconnect.
This is not fluffy. It is practical self-awareness.
Emotional intelligence research consistently shows that leaders who can identify their internal state are more effective at regulating behavior, making decisions, and maintaining healthy relationships under pressure.
Build a daily reset routine
Pick one practice from each category:
Spiritual: prayer, gratitude, journaling
Mental: meditation, silence, breathwork
Physical: walk, stretching, paddle board, time outside
Keep it simple.
Ten minutes is enough to start.
The point is not to copy Austin. The point is to identify what brings you back to yourself.
Final thought
This conversation was full of strength, but not the loud kind.
It was strength rooted in faith.
Strength rooted in repetition.
Strength rooted in honesty.
Strength rooted in showing up anyway.
If there is one lesson to carry forward, it is this:
You do not need a perfect plan.
You do not need zero fear.
You do not need ideal circumstances.
You need the willingness to keep moving.
You need the courage to hear the truth.
You need the discipline to stay focused.
You need the humility to ground yourself.
And sometimes, you need to ask one better question.
How lucky am I?
That question may not remove the challenge.
But it may give you enough light to take the next step.