I woke up sick. Again.
Ten days of coughing. Headaches. Exhaustion. The kind that makes your body feel heavy and your brain feel slow. I still showed up to record.
Not because I felt strong. Because I had one small decision to make.
Show up. Or retreat.
That moment is leadership in its simplest form. Not titles. Not status. Not being the loudest voice in the room.
Leadership is taking the next right step, even when you are scared.
In this episode of The Route to Success, David Hemphill interviews me. We talk about storytelling, systems, data, and why hope is not a feeling. Hope is a skill you build.
If you are overwhelmed right now, use this blog as a reset. You will leave with practical tools you can use today.
Why storytelling shapes leadership
I learned about people through stories. I grew up moving a lot. I spent time alone. I read books. I lived in imagination. I watched how characters made choices under pressure.
That shaped how I lead today.
Stories do three things for leaders.
- Stories help you see patterns.
People are people. Power dynamics repeat. Pride repeats. Fear repeats. The mistakes that broke relationships in history still break teams today. - Stories build empathy fast.
When you can connect to someone’s story, you can lead them without controlling them. - Stories make lessons stick.
You can forget bullet points. You remember a story.
Practical tool you can use today: The story scan:
Before you solve a problem, ask:
What story is this person telling themselves right now?
What story am I telling myself right now?
What story do we want to be true in 90 days?
Write each answer in one sentence.
If the sentences do not match, you found the root of the misalignment.
The leadership trap that destroys teams
In our conversation, I talked about hubris. Pride. The need to be right. The need to win.
History is full of leaders who collapsed because they refused to bend.
Organizations are full of leaders who do the same thing in smaller ways.
They interrupt.
They defend.
They refuse to admit they were wrong.
They block other people from leading.
Your practical tool: The humility switch
In your next meeting, replace these phrases:
“I already know.”
“With what you’re seeing, what am I missing?”
“That won’t work.”
“Walk me through how it could work.”
“Here’s what we’re doing.”
“Here are the outcomes we need, what options do you see?”
You keep your authority.
You create room for solutions to emerge.
Your job is not to be the solution
This is where many leaders get stuck.
They think leadership means having answers.
They think leadership means control.
They think leadership means speed.
I see leadership differently.
Leaders create the environment for solutions.
When I led teams working with high-risk youth, staff would bring me problems.
My first move was not to fix it.
My first move was to ask questions.
Because the staff were working with the kids every day.
They had the information.
They often had the answer.
They just needed clarity and safety to trust themselves.
Your practical tool: The solution environment checklist
Before you jump to solve, ask these four questions:
Do people feel safe to tell the truth?
Do roles and decision rights feel clear?
Do we have enough information to decide?
Do we have a next step that is small enough to do today?
If the answer is no to any one of these, fix that first.
You will solve the real problem faster.
The cost of leadership
Leadership costs you.
It costs emotional regulation.
It costs difficult conversations.
It costs being the first person into the fire.
It costs carrying responsibility while staying calm enough that your team can stay calm.
A leader can have power. A leader should still feel fear.
Courage is not the absence of fear.
Courage is acting while fear is present.
Your practical tool: The fear-to-plan reset
When you feel fear rising, do this in 6 minutes.
Minute 1: Name it.
“I feel fear because ______.”
Minute 2: Define the risk.
“The risk is ______.”
Minute 3: Define what is in your control.
“What I can control is ______.”
Minute 4: Choose the next right step.
“One step I can take in 24 hours is ______.”
Minute 5: Text or message one safe person.
“Here is what I am doing next.”
Minute 6: Do the step.
Send the email. Draft the agenda. Schedule the meeting. Write the questions.
Fear shrinks when action begins.
Bridge story with data so people act
I love stories. I also love data.
Stories help people feel.
Data helps people decide.
If you want to persuade funders, boards, partners, and even staff, you need both.
Words without numbers feel like fluff.
Numbers without a story feel cold.
Put them together and you create momentum.
Your practical tool: The 3-line impact formula
Use this structure in proposals, board updates, and LinkedIn posts.
Line 1. The human moment.
“One parent told us ______.”
Line 2. The data point.
“This reflects a trend we see in our community, ______.”
Line 3. The action and result.
“We responded by ______, which led to ______.”
You can write this in five minutes.
It makes your communication sharper immediately.
How to find credible community data fast
You do not have to reinvent the wheel.
You do not need a big research budget.
Start with these three sources.
- Your school district:
Annual report cards and district reporting often include:
graduation and dropout rates
poverty indicators
attendance patterns
student mobility
sometimes community snapshots - Your local health department
Often includes:
chronic disease data
maternal and child health
substance use trends
access to care indicators - Your public library, research librarian
Libraries often have access to paid databases.
They also sit on neutral ground and can convene community learning.
Your practical tool: The 30-minute data pull
Set a timer for 30 minutes.
10 minutes: School district site
Search: “report card,” “annual report,” “data,” “dashboard.”
10 minutes: County health department site
Search: “community health assessment,” “data,” “report.”
10 minutes: Library site
Search: “research help,” “databases,” “librarian appointment.”
At the end, collect:
3 stats that match your mission
1 chart or table you can cite
1 contact name for follow-up
That is enough to strengthen your next proposal or pitch.
Move leaders from chaos to clarity without overwhelm
When people feel overwhelmed, they do not need more noise.
They need structure.
My approach starts with deep listening.
Not just what they say.
What they avoid saying.
What feels tense.
What feels unclear.
Then I retreat. I reflect. I build the map.
I call it a treasure map.
You can call it a plan.
We identify the X.
Then we work backward into goals.
Then into steps.
Then into daily actions.
Your practical tool: Build your own “treasure map” in 20 minutes
Step 1: Define the X.
What must be true in 90 days?
Write 3 outcomes.
Example:
Grant calendar is built.
Board roles are clarified.
Staff meetings follow a consistent agenda.
Step 2: Work backward.
For each outcome, list:
the 3 milestones needed to get there.
Step 3: Convert into weekly actions.
For each milestone, write:
one action you can complete this week.
Step 4: Keep it small.
If the action feels too big, break it into 15-minute steps.
Hope grows when the steps feel doable.
Hope is a skill you build
This is the heart of the conversation.
Hope is not something you wait for.
Hope is something you practice.
Hope is a muscle.
You build it through small wins.
Sometimes the win is finishing a work task.
Sometimes the win is doing laundry.
Sometimes the win is getting out of bed and drinking water.
Those “small” wins are not small when you are in a dark season.
They are proof you still have agency.
Your practical tool: The hope muscle checklist
Choose 3 micro-wins for today.
Examples:
Drink 8 ounces of water.
Walk for 10 minutes.
Write the questions for the project.
Send one message you are avoiding.
Make your bed.
Eat something that helps your body.
Check them off.
Then write one sentence:
“I kept a promise to myself today.”
That sentence changes your identity over time.
Support people without rescuing them
People need space.
They also need movement toward a plan.
I support leaders by doing both.
I name what is hard.
I make space for feelings.
Then I help them shift their eyes.
Stop staring at how far you have to go.
Turn around and look at how far you have come.
Then we return to action.
Your practical tool: The glimmer walk
When your brain locks up, go outside for 10 minutes.
Move.
Look for five small moments of beauty.
A flower.
Sunlight on a wall.
A dog’s joy.
A bird.
A breeze.
This is not fluff.
It is a nervous system reset.
Then come back and take one step.
Define success differently
At the end of our conversation, David asked what success means to me now.
It is not wealth.
It is not status.
Success is impact.
Success is investing in someone else.
Success is helping a program get funded.
Success is making a person smile on a hard day.
That is leadership too.
It is quiet.
It is real.
It multiplies.
Your next step
If you are overwhelmed, do this today.
Write your 3 micro-wins.
Pull 3 community stats.
Use the 3-line impact formula.
Create one weekly action tied to your 90-day outcomes.
Then do one thing.
One.
Hope does not arrive all at once.
Hope grows when you keep moving.
You can build it.